Inner Game of Tennis

SO I've been doing some reading. I saw my plans for action for acting wasn't working, so I decided to study success and the fundemental principals. I started by re-reading my book, "the ultimate secrets of self confidence", which inturn inspired me to re-visit this success blog and change my approach by documenting spiritual technique and basic principles, affirmations, visualizations, meditations, etc. During this time I discovered Jivamukti Yoga, which I really identify with and already see the bennefits, (all except with not eating meat, the (vegan thing-I tried) doesn't work well for me.)

Then I moved on to the Inner Game of Tennis and recieved an emphiphany. I am so focused on what I need to improve, focused on what I don't have and what I need, its such a habit of thinking for me I don't know how to escape it ...yet! but I need to just forget all this bull shit and do it, with what I already have and already know, their are plenty of less educated people out there who have less who are doing so much more. What is my DEAL!!? Stop focusing on what i need to fix: "all i have to do is fix that or change this or be more this" always trying. trying to be this something else that i view as better instead of just being, just doing, just having.

DAMN How many more years need to go by!!!

SO I threw the book down and got up and felt compelled to "do". I cleaned my kitchen and then went on a 15minute jog, ran to the bank and did some errands. Then I thought, its okay to learn more, and get better, and expand beyond where i am, BUT i need to acknowledge where I am and be thankful for that. And know That I have alot to offer, and focus on what I have, nurture that, and watch that grow. You water seeds that already are in the ground and watch those seeds grow and sprout and bloom, not patches of desolate land hoping something will turn up.

Not only do I have seeds in the ground already, but fully blossomed rose bushes, that just need some tending to and grooming.

I 'm waking up!

SO no more focusing on problems, weakness, and things I need and don't have. Now I'm being thankful for what I have, and focusing on that!!!